1 May 2013

We're beginning the countdown! Nate's release date (first eligibility for parole) is May, 2014. So as of today, we are under the one-year mark!!! We will be counting down excitedly as he comes back to California and we will be able to visit him more often and encourage him to look forward to the future instead of dwelling on the past.

We have heard through a friend of his (I haven't been home to check my own mail) that he is hoping to be at Jamestown this week. The trip from Oklahoma was terrible. He was awake for over 54 hours before they finally arrived in Arizona and he was able to sleep. He's been in lockdown the entire time without phone privileges, so we have not been able to talk to him, but he was finally able to access his college books this week so he could begin studying for his two final exams. We can't wait to see him again!

Thanks as always for all your support! 
Charilyn

15 April 2013

A few weeks ago Nathan received word that he is definitely on track to finish his AA degree this semester!

A few days later at his annual review he was told that he was going to be sent back to California. The timing he was quoted was 4-6 weeks. He explained how close he was to finishing his college courses, and we were really hoping they would at least hold off until he was able to finish his college courses. He started working ahead on his assignments and took his midterms early, but he still has a couple of assignments and his final exams left to take in order to finish his AA.  However, today we got word through a friend of his that he is on lockdown and all of his stuff has been packed. That most likely indicates that he will be moved tomorrow.  Did you catch that?
 

NATE IS ON HIS WAY WEST!

Nate will be sent through one of the facilities in Arizona first; we do not know how long that will be. We are speculating that he will be there for a couple of weeks. Then he will be transferred to one of the CDCR "fire camps" here in California. There are more than forty camps, so we do not know where he will be sent. However, the conditions should be good, as the fire camps are at minimum security. Regardless of where he ends up, we will be able to visit more often and under better conditions. 

Please continue to pray for the following needs:
1. Safe travel. Being chained to a bus seat for a drive from Oklahoma to Arizona, and then to California is not what I consider ideal travel conditions. His back is already problematic from his two tours in Iraq, and this type of travel will be painful for him.

2. Pray that he will easily be able to finish his college coursework when he gets where he's going without any hassle.

3. Pray that his back problems will be given the proper consideration when he arrives at the fire camp. He is unable to do physical labor at this time. He has been told that he can get a clerk's position or work in the kitchen, etc. 

4. Please continue to pray for Nate's emotional and spiritual well being.

I shared last night in church that each day can be so unpredictable! In the course of the last week I had minor surgery; my car broke down on a busy freeway; and my tax program tried to convince me that we owed over $21,000 in taxes. (Boy was I glad to figure out where the mistake was on that!!) But even though we do not know what each day holds in store for us, it is so wonderful to know that we have a Heavenly Father who does! 

Day by day, and with each passing moment, strength I find to meet my trials here;

Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, I've no cause for worry or for fear.

He whose heart is kind beyond all measure gives unto each day what He deems best --

Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure, mingling toil with peace and rest.  -Berg/Skoog

When I sang that song last night I had no idea what today would hold. My heart aches for the people who were so severely injured today in Boston. We had a family member who was running the marathon, and we were relieved to hear that he was safe. But I am so excited tonight to know that Nate is headed back to California and I should be able to see him soon! I don't know what tomorrow will hold either, but I know the promises God has given me. I know that He will provide the strength I need for tomorrow's challenges.


Thank you all again for your love and support. We can almost see the finish line! 

Charilyn 

3 January 2013

"Thou preparest a table before me 
in the presence of mine enemies..."

I've spent the day watching my classroom snake play with its food. Several hours after putting a live mouse in the feeder cage, the snake and mouse are actually curled up and taking a nap together! It has reminded me throughout the day of the story of Daniel and the Lion's Den. Another verse that comes to mind is the one quoted above from Psalm 23. It's also a good analogy for how I felt as I traveled to Oklahoma to visit Nate a couple of weeks ago.

I had asked prayer support for 2 specific things for this trip: that the weather would cooperate and that I would stay well. This trip was proof that God answers prayer! All around me people were getting sick in the days prior to the trip. Not only did I not get the "bug" before the trip, I still feel perfectly well. I have also told several of my friends that I felt like I was traveling in a bubble. All around me flights were being cancelled and delayed due to weather problems. Some of the passengers on the San Jose/Las Vegas leg of my trip were even asked to get off the plane because their connecting flights were not going out. You should have heard the complaints - the majority of people would apparently rather be stuck in Vegas than in San Jose! But my flights were fine; the weather was ridiculously warm for December in Oklahoma (warmer than in California that week); the roads were clear; and I even had the best seat on the plane for the entire trip home. I was even able to meet up for dinner in Amarillo with a friend that I hadn't seen for several years.

Last summer's visit was extremely stressful because of the arbitrary interpretation of the dress code and visiting policies that were being enforced by the front desk officer. There was not a single problem this time for any of the visitors and the whole visit was as stress-free as this type of visit can be. I was able to visit with Nate all day Friday & Saturday, and for a couple of hours on Sunday. I told him that the first hug was from about a dozen people who had told me to make sure I gave him one from them. We talked until we ran out of things to say.

Nate still looks and sounds great. He's been moved recently to another building and has been assigned to a cognitive behavior class in preparation for his return to society. He thinks it's mostly a waste of time, but he gets paid for attending so he's not complaining too much. He's also recently been appointed as a barber for the other inmates. He's still waiting to get his grades from last semester's classes and also waiting for approval for this semester's classes. I need to double check his education plan, but he thinks he will get his AA this semester if he gets the class he needs (we'll petition if he doesn't get it the first time). He's also requested a statistics class which makes me nervous since he won't have access to any online help or tutorials, but during our visit he was able to talk briefly to one of the other inmates who was having a visit. It turns out that guy is a math whiz and works in the library, so Nate should be able to get help from him a couple of days a week. Don't you love how God works out even the smallest of details?

I had taken some work with me, and I planned to work on it in my hotel room after my Friday visit. However, when I got back I decided that I really didn't want to have to do anything that involved thinking. I found a show that some of my friends have been talking about - Duck Dynasty - and watched about 4 episodes in a row. I can't tell you how good it felt just to laugh like that! I did make the mistake of calling my husband and telling him he should watch it...I may have created a monster. We even decided to start a new Christmas tradition as we all sat around watching the Christmas episode on Christmas Day!

We had a quiet Christmas at home and things are back to normal. We're glad for the new year because it means we're one step closer to the end of this journey. Nate will have his annual review in March, which could determine how soon he gets moved back to California. There are definite pros and cons (better for us to visit, but harder for him in many ways) so we continue to trust that God's timing will be best. We know it will be before the end of next year when the contract with the prison ends.

Please continue to pray for Nate's physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Thank you for your ongoing support. I truly appreciated the gifts that covered my rental car and the food (vending machines) during the visit. Your friendship is even more important to us.

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days
of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

Charilyn

24 November 2012

We had a nice, quiet Thanksgiving, even though we missed Nate like crazy. It was really hard for me at first because we came up to the timeshare with my parents where we spent time as a family when Nate came home from Iraq after his first tour. I "see" him and the family pictures we took almost every time I see the stairway. I can't wait to come again for some quiet family time when he's finally home for good. We've had some great rounds of Apples to Apples & Canasta, and some great sight-seeing as the leaves and fall colors are still in amazing abundance!

We've talked to Nate a few times this week. He got an "A" on his poly-sci midterm. OH - and I forgot to mention in the last blog update that Nate was awarded a $1500 scholarship this summer that will help offset the cost of his college books for a few semesters! That was such an encouragement to both him and us!

I'll see Nate in just 3 weeks! I can't wait!

Charilyn

8 November 2012

Once again it has been a long time since I have updated Nate's blog. In part, it's because it things have settled into a "normal" pattern and it does not seem like there is much to report. Since our visit last summer we have been able to talk on the phone often. Nate is taking two more classes this semester, and he was able to get the extra credit points for his classes last spring. That raised one of his grades to another "A"! The college did not offer any summer courses due to budget cuts, but that gave Nate a chance to work on personal projects like reading, teaching himself Spanish, and learning the map of Europe. The books he reads are about historical and political events and figures, so even when he's not taking classes he's pushing himself to learn more. He continues to amaze me in that regard.

Nate has also shown a lot of concern for other inmates. Recently he asked me to provide some research help for another young man who is taking college classes but had no way to get the information he needed for a required research paper. I got back a thank you note from him that also included this: "By the way, you raised a great son. Nate got me to start college, is a good friend, and probably has more potential than anyone here."

California has started removing the inmates from the Oklahoma facility and bringing them back to Arizona and California. About half of the prison has been emptied, but Nate was not in the group that was moved. At this point, it could still be up to a year before they move everyone out. That doesn't help us much because that's about when they would be starting to bring Nate back anyway, at about the 6-month mark prior to his parole eligibility. 

Although the VA has ruled that Nate is eligible for benefits as if he were Honorable Discharged, they have recently denied his initial disability claim. That's actually a common occurrence that will require a request for a review of his case. Many vets do not follow through with the review process ( which sometimes takes multiple attempts) and is definitely an exercise in endurance. It's not an easy for anyone, but it is almost impossible for someone with Post Traumatic Stress and other combat injuries. The VA has been accused of making the process difficult in an attempt to not have to pay claims.  The unbelievable part of this particular denial is that it is strictly because Nate didn't show up for the doctor's appointment that was scheduled to evaluate him.  Imagine that! I had actually called and asked to have the appointment cancelled, but evidently it was not done. The VA also has the full file with all of the previous evaluations, but their process requires evaluation by specific doctors and they will not accept the previous documentation. He has a year to appeal the ruling, but I do not think he will be able make it to any other doctor's appointments, either, unless someone has more pull with the State of California or with the warden than I do?!

Nate did have a visit from the MSgt at the USMC Wounded Warrior Regiment in Oklahoma. We'd been trying to arrange it for several months, and I wasn't sure how the visit would go, but Nate called me afterwards more excited than he had been in a long time. It seems they look more like brothers than he does with his own brothers, which brought on a few laughs from his friends, and they talked for four hours straight. Hopefully more visits will follow, as it really helps Nate not to feel forgotten or left behind by the USMC. 

Nate's brother was able to visit a couple of weeks ago, and I have a trip scheduled for the weekend before Christmas.  Please continue to pray for us. As many of you realize, today is the anniversary of his best friend's KIA date, and this weekend is the 5-year mark for Nate's original arrest. It's still very painful for all of us, and we covet your continued friendship and support. Thank you for not forgetting our veterans!

Charilyn

28 June 2012

Another visit! YAY!

This last weekend we were able to make another trip to see Nate. We had originally reserved the visit for Saturday and Sunday, but about a week before the trip we got a call to let us know that the visits were finally going back to the normal schedule. (They had been only allowing segregated visits since the riot last fall). There wasn't enough notice to be able to change our airfare (way too expensive with less than a weeks' notice) but we did fly in early enough on Friday to allow a Friday night visit. Nate wasn't expecting it so we were able to surprise him. Fun! 


We did something different this time and flew in through Amarillo. The distance is just about the same as flying in to Oklahoma City and the fares were a little bit cheaper. We had originally planned to do some site-seeing on Monday, but I found out that I needed to be back for a college class I'm teaching. Thankfully we did find that out soon enough to change our flights without it being too expensive. We have decided that we will only fly Southwest for these trips, since I lost about $150 with another airline when I had to re-schedule my November visit - and would have lost the entire fare if I hadn't really advocated hard for myself.  The only disappointing thing about this decision is that I can't take advantage of airline mile transfers. We had the offer of using airline miles from a friend for this trip, but we are too afraid that if something comes up the trip will be cancelled and we'll lose the miles completely. Bummer.


We did get to see a couple of things after our visits on Saturday and Sunday. We drove out to the Washita Indian Massacre site (one of Custer's attacks), and we also saw some of the Route 66 historic section of Amarillo. I wanted a steak for dinner since we were in Texas so we were looking for a steakhouse, but then I saw Cracker Barrel -- so we compromised! I love Cracker Barrel! (And they had great steak!)


The visit itself was good. Nate looks good physically & sounds good when he talks about his classes, etc. My dad had been able to see Nate for a one-day visit at the end of May, so he was glad for that, as well. We resolved the issue that I had mentioned in the last blog by agreeing not to discuss that particular subject. He got his grades for his classes last semester (2 B's & a C) but doesn't think the extra credit he did for the classes has been accounted for, so I will be checking on that for him this week. He's really only a few classes shy of his AA, and mentioned that he doesn't think he would have been able to do this if he weren't in custody. At least he is seeing something positive from this ordeal.


Visiting continues to be an exercise in patience. When we arrived Friday night the guard at the front desk was turning several visitors away for clothing issues. The lady in front of us was turned away & I didn't see anything wrong with what she was wearing except that she had on mid-calf capris, similar to what I was wearing. So I asked if there was a problem with what I was wearing (the rule only says no shorts) and he said it was "questionable" but didn't go into any more detail, so we didn't know whether we were going to be allowed in or not. It turns out he thought our jeans were too tight. At one point he told us all that we should wear clothing that we would wear to one of our children's school events. I don't think he's been to many school events in California -- I think most everyone was dressed up compared to that! One young woman had a baby about a year-and-a-half old who was wearing shorts that would have been long pants if they'd another inch or two longer. She was told he couldn't come in because the rule said no shorts. She said she asked the visiting coordinator twice on the phone what the rule was for kids and was told that the rule was mid-calf, which she followed. Turns out girls can go in with mid-calf clothing (capris) but not boys. It seemed to me to be a case of rules vs. common sense. (Keep in mind that it's 102 degrees outside, so it's also easy to forget to pack long pants).  He also turned away a woman who had her 5 grandchildren there to visit their dad. They had driven all the way from Missouri and had been allowed to visit the night before, but on this night he didn't allow it because it was over the limit of visitors and none of the kids was old enough to stay out in the lobby by themselves so that they could rotate through. He was allowing the clothing violators to go out the front gate & get appropriate clothing & then come back in (which wasn't allowed before when I wanted to go get a sweater out of the car) and he recommended the Dollar Store down the road if anyone needed to buy new clothing. (We laughingly wondered if he owned stock in the Dollar Store!) We waited patiently until our turn to see what he would decide about my pants, but after all that we were allowed in without any hassle. Those of you who know me know that I come from a pretty conservative background. I don't think I've ever been accused of wearing too-tight pants before!  It's frustrating because we all come from so far (most of us from California) for these visits, so we're not deliberately trying to push the rules - we don't want to do anything that would jeopardize the visit!  I know the guards have seen/heard every excuse in the book and a few more besides, but they seem to have set a "moving target" of standards. The hoop earrings I wore on Friday and Saturday were not OK on Sunday. We were also told on Sunday that our car keys were supposed to be kept at the front desk, not in the locker (as we had done the previous days & on previous visits). No wonder the inmates get mad at the guards! 


It's good to be home, even though we don't know when our next visit will be. We have learned that Nate is eligible for parole a month earlier than we were originally told (now May 2014) and there are rumors that California is in the process of bringing all the out-of-state inmates back to California. There are some downsides to that for Nate, but at least then we would be able to visit more often.


Thanks again for your friendship, prayers, and support. We also appreciate the donations that covered our rental car and food costs for this trip. We are glad to know we are not alone in this battle.


Charilyn

28 April 2012

I had a difficult conversation with Nate today. It brought to light one of the hardest things about having him in prison that I had never considered before all this happened. He and I disagree on some major issues. The topics themselves aren't important; we will often disagree with people who are close to us. This time, though, I had to tell him flat out that I didn't agree, and that frankly, we need to agree to disagree about this topic. I could tell he was bummed out, and I wanted to spend more time reassuring him that I love him no matter what. But the 20-minute phone limit was up. I hate that! He can usually call back, but I knew this time he wouldn't because he's planning to call tomorrow to have me look up some things on the Internet for him. 

I figured I would spend the rest of the afternoon & evening worried about the way we left the conversation. Thankfully he called Josh and talked some things through, so I'm feeling better about how Nate will do through the night. I hope we can come to a better resolution when we talk tomorrow.

Thank you for your continued prayer support. We need it daily!
 Charilyn

28 March 2012

I thought that when I got my Master's degree I would be finished with school for a while. For a short time last year I played with the idea of working on my doctorate and even researched it somewhat. I had it narrowed down to a couple of schools (Stanford being at the top of my list if they would have me because their programs are fully funded!) but I let myself get talked out of it pretty easily: too much work, time commitment, and money! So why am I on the Internet searching for current event articles about Marine Science topics tonight? Do I look like I need to write a 5-page paper on submersibles and the recent record set while exploring the Mariana Trench? The things one will do for their kids!!  ....especially one whose goal it is to get A's in all of his college classes this semester and has no Internet access from prison. :-)  Nate has just finished his midterms and has lofty goals for himself! 

We are fortunate that Nate is really appreciative of all that we do for him. For many families affected by PTS, that is simply not the case. Many times our heroes push their loved ones away, whether from guilt or misplaced need to "distance" themselves from their loved ones, or simply because they feel safe enough to lash out at their families, it's a difficult complication to deal with. 

This week in the news was the story of a veteran near us who reached out for help but then did not follow through with the offers of help he was given. He killed his younger sister and his mom. My heart is aching for their family. When the media coverage of these incidents is so intense, it sometimes makes it harder to convince those with milder cases of Post Traumatic Stress to seek help because they are afraid they will be classified in the same category as those with extreme, untreated symptoms.  We need to continue spreading the word that PTS is a highly treatable, normal reaction to combat! It's OK to seek help or talk to someone if you or someone you love is having difficulty coping with the stress of combat. The extreme cases should not be the ones that define Post Traumatic Stress.

I was asked this week to participate in a project to educate families about when and how to ask for help for their veteran. I will be serving on the district attorney's task force for prevention of justice-related incidents for our veterans starting this spring. I'm also waiting for a return call from someone at the Marine Wounded Warrior Regiment to discuss ways that they might improve their services to our veterans since I recently received a very hurtful call on Nate's phone asking how he was doing and offering to help. (A day late and a dollar short!)

I'll do all that sometime after I've researched any other Internet articles Nate might need....he comes first!

Charilyn

21 February 2012

I haven't updated the blog for a while because there really hasn't been anything new to say. When Nate was deployed we got used to the idea that "no news is good news" and that's kind of the way it's been since the riot.  We finally got a phone call from Nate a few days before Christmas. It was wonderful to hear his voice after 2 months of no phone calls. I think it was one of the best Christmas presents I got this year! At that time they were only being allowed out of their cells for a couple of hours a couple of times a week. Now they are being allowed out for a few hours most days. The visits are still on a limited schedule. Since I was hoping that they would be back to normal by now, I scheduled a visit this weekend with a couple of extra days tacked on to the trip just in case, but there was no such luck. I did get to see him all day on both Saturday and Sunday, though.

I hate the mix of emotions that comes with visiting. I really did have two wonderful days. The hugs are great (I’m allowed one hug at the beginning and end of each visit) and I think I could just sit and stare at him for a while. However, sitting in a plastic chair across a table from someone for 7 hours straight, 2 days in a row, doesn’t exactly make for natural visiting conditions. I try to keep Nate up-to-date in letters and when we talk on the phone, and let’s face it, he doesn’t have too much exciting to talk about. So after a while it starts sounding like, “Well, what do you want to talk about now?” “I don’t know; what do you want to talk about?”And then, of course, it's so hard to say good-bye, especially not knowing when I'll be back again.

We tried playing Scrabble. The guard in charge of the visiting room really teased Nate Sunday about how stressed out he would be if he lost to me. Actually, Nate held his own better than I’ve ever seen him do in a word game, but eventually he couldn’t concentrate and we tried Monopoly. Josh had warned me not to play that game – it’s actually very difficult emotionally when you land on “Go to Jail” or “Just visiting” but the worst part is getting a “Get out of Jail Free” card and not really being able to use it. Nate’s a great landlord because he never remembers to charge rent, and once I became a railroad tycoon the game went downhill fast (at least in his opinion).

I learned a little more about the riot last fall. Evidently the racial tension is still quite high, so even though I’ve been upset about the continued lockdowns it’s been a good thing from Nate’s perspective. The prison is in the midst of a big hiring campaign because so many of the guards either quit or were fired. I talked to someone Sunday who is out here from California working double-shifts to help with the staffing needs. I wondered who would want to come out to the middle of Nowhere, Oklahoma, but she said there were a lot of people requesting to come because the overtime is so good right now.

Nate is continuing to do well in his college classes. He was upset about 2 of his grades last semester, but when we inquired about one of them (the grade report was showing that 2 of the papers he wrote were missing), the papers were found and his grade was raised. He got a “C” in one of his business classes and he’s still mad about it because he didn’t get any of his quizzes back, so he never knew what he was getting wrong or how to study for his midterm or final. If you knew Nate in high school, it’s actually humorous that he’s so upset about a “C.” He’s also upset about the “B” he received in the Spanish course, but considering all the trouble we had getting everything he needed for that course, in addition to the riot lockdown and not being able to ask anyone for help when he didn’t understand a question, I think he did great. He’s currently taking 3 courses this semester: anthropology, marine science, and a psychology/life development course. He says he’s enjoying them and is just about ready for his midterms. Due to budget cuts the college will not be offering courses this summer, so he will work more on his drawing and teaching himself more Spanish.

Nate looks good and says he feels great. He is still having problems with his back that will need to be addressed by the VA when he is finally out of custody. He has a lot of self-confidence right now, partially due to his success in his college courses, and partially because he has some creative ideas for things he can do for a job when he gets out. He knows the first few months will be tough, but he has a lot of plans, and that is giving him a lot of hope. He is not receiving treatment for his Post Traumatic Stress, but he feels that he is doing well overall. He gets stressed fairly easily over his college work and the riot issues, and he thinks that caused more of a flare-up with nightmares, but he says that he’s done well the last few weeks. We had a very frank discussion about my fears of what could happen when he gets out if he doesn’t get treatment. The choice to seek treatment will have to come from Nate himself; yet another area I have to turn over to God’s control!

I enjoyed staying with another Blue Star mother (grandmother) here in Oklahoma this trip. She lives about an hour from the prison, but it’s a straight drive each way and it really cut my expenses down. She’s a very active 78-years young! She drives in to Oklahoma City (an hour away) twice a week to work at the airport welcome center with the troops; she’s active in her Blue Star Mother’s chapter (she made over 200 neck/travel pillows for troop care packages last Christmas); she also volunteers with the Friends of the Library annual book sale (a whole warehouse full of books – 600,000 of them!); she’s involved with Daughters of the American Revolution and the Red Hat Society (I love her collection of red hats!)…..Whew! I think she’s actually busier than I am! Her granddaughter is in the Air Force and getting ready to leave for Korea for a year, so I was an honorary member of their family this weekend while everyone came to visit her.

As I said, I don’t know when my next visit will be, which was the hardest part about leaving. I can’t stand to cry in front of Nate; he has bigger things to worry about than his mom’s mental health. I think I managed to get all the way to the car this time before any tears fell. I took my time going back to my friend’s and managed to keep myself together. I also got to spend a couple of hours this afternoon with a friend's daughter who is attending college here in Oklahoma. I’m very grateful for all the prayer support and words of encouragement over the past few days and weeks. I was very afraid that I would get sick or something else would happen to prevent my visit, so I really appreciate those of you who prayed specifically for my health. 

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase,
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half-done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men,
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

                                                  -Annie J. Flint (public domain) 

He giveth more grace....

Charilyn

15 December 2011

A Letter from Nate:

To friends, family, and everyone who has been supporting me in this difficult time, I send my love, gratitude and cheer for the holiday season. I know that many of you have stayed up to date on what has been happening and have found ways to help either me or my family. I cannot thank you enough. It is because of the support from all of you that I have been able to maintain a positive attitude, and have been able to stay focused and constructive in turning this negative situation into a positive one.

Over the last year I have managed to stay very busy. I am currently enrolled in college and am on track to graduate the end of the summer semester of 2012 with an Associates degree with a focus in business. I'm not sure as to right now what exactly I will do upon completion of my degree, though I do foresee myself continuing taking courses in other areas that I am interested in. That way, I'll have several options to choose from when I get out. I know that earlier this year a decision to overturn a previous decision concerning my VA benefits was made, which opens the possibility for me to continue my pursuit of a higher  education. Either in the form of a Bachelors or a Masters, as the GI Bill should cover most of the expenses. I cannot say with any certainty that is what I'll do, though I have considered it hard to pass up such an opportunity.

Since I have been pretty busy with school, I have had to put off some of my ambitions as an artist. Though I have managed to find the time here and there to do a drawing or two. I still am considering seeking a career as a tattoo artist. Though I do find it hard to turn down what amounts to a very inexpensive education.

In my spare time, which surprisingly enough I don't have much of, I like to read and watch a little television. I am also the proud new owner of a video game system, which I will sheepishly admit has been taking up more of my time the last several weeks. Though without it, I never would have been able to complete several of my classes that come with DVD lectures.

All in all this has been about as good a year for me as the circumstances have allowed. I am in good spirit this holiday season and am looking forward to another productive year. I wish to all of you out there who have been so hopeful and understanding to me and my family a Merry Christmas, and that next year will be even better than the last. I can't thank you enough.

Sincerely, Nathan

6 November 2011

I hope that Nate received my letter letting him know that I wouldn't be able to visit. The letter I got from him this week (mailed before he could have received my letter) stated how much he was looking forward to my visit.  I had especially wanted to visit this weekend because it will be a tough week for Nate emotionally. Tuesday is the 6th anniversary of his friend Jeremy's KIA date. (We recently passed the 6-yr. mark for Bubb & Hildebrandt, as well.) This is the event that set off our journey into the realm of Post Traumatic Stress with Nathan 4 years ago. With the holidays coming, please continue to pray for his emotional stability. I was hoping that by visiting him this weekend I could give him some encouragement to get him through the next few weeks. But as I continue to be reminded, God is Most High. He is over all.  Tonight I was also reminded that God is Jehovah Shama -- "God is there." (Ezekiel 48:35). Even though I could not be there with Nathan this weekend, God is there every hour of every day.


We did receive some good news this week. Nate had just sent a letter to the college to drop his classes since it didn't look like he would be allowed to finish them this semester...when he got word that they would be bringing him his midterms and he would be allowed to finish his courses. I sent a quick FAX to the college the next day after receiving his letter, so hopefully he will be able to resume his courses without any more drama.

As your family commemorates Veterans Day this week, remember the sacrifices that have been made by all of our veterans on your behalf. Never forget that freedom is not free.

  
Remembering...
Charilyn

2 November 2011

This has been a truly emotional week. Several weeks ago I planned to visit Nathan this weekend, but when we got news of the riot I wasn't sure I would be allowed to visit. We have received two letters from Nate, and the last one said that since I scheduled the visit prior to the lockdown I should still be allowed to have the visit. That information coincided with the information we were given last summer when we had trouble scheduling our visit. I thought for sure I was covered, since I scheduled this visit as soon as I made my airline reservations, before there was another lockdown. (It seems that they're on lockdown more often than not). I could just see myself arriving at the gate for my visit, only to be told that I couldn't have it, so I called to confirm that I would be able to keep the visit, only to be told no. Evidently this is more than a "lockdown"; this is a "state of emergency" and different rules apply. To say that I was disappointed would be quite an understatement.

The next morning I opened the Beth Moore Bible Study we have been using at school, and the title of the lesson was "God Most High." I actually closed the book and just said, "Thank you, Lord. I needed that today." I could not even do the rest of the lesson; I just meditated the rest of the day on the assurance that God is indeed Most High. He is higher than the prison officials in Oklahoma and Sacramento, and He does know what is best. That's all I need. The next day I was able to complete the study and I was reminded again that God's names each have special meaning. The Hebrew El Elyon signifies that He is the One to whom the kings of earth will someday cast their crowns at His feet. It is His sovereignty that allows Him to do as He will; but we needn't fear His actions, because as one of His children my difficulties will always fall between the bookends of His sovereignty and His unfailing love. I hope you also have that assurance.

 

Doing that study gave me so much peace! I continued to try to get approval for the visit, even contacting my state assembly member's office for assistance when I got no response from the officials in Sacramento.  I had both non-refundable plane tickets and a non-refundable car rental reservation. I wanted some answers, but I was able to speak calmly and intelligently (I hope!) to the assistant who returned my call. She contacted the prison officials on my behalf and was told that I was sent a response  but that the answer is still "no" to the visit.  I have still not received a response from Sacramento; she is re-contacting them to ensure that I do receive the email.

 

I called United airlines and to my surprise I was given full credit for my "non-refundable" flight. Wow! I then called my credit card rewards program (I had enough points for a "non-refundable" car rental) and when I gave the agent a short overview she said, "That just happened to my aunt recently. I'm so sorry. Let me see what I can do to help you." At first I was told there would be a one-day penalty, but when I stayed calm and reminded them that I was calling just shy of 48 hours in advance to cancel, they agreed to waive the penalty. Just a reminder that God is higher than the airlines and credit card people!  While I'm disappointed that I can't have the visit, I am very thankful that at least I was able to obtain refunds and will be able to plan another visit when the "state of emergency" is over. I just pray that it will be soon.

Nathan was unable to take his midterms and we are not sure if he will be able to finish the requirements for his college courses right now, but I'm not worried about it tonight. God is higher than the college officials, too.

Charilyn 

17 October 2011

Just a quick note to let everyone know that we received a letter from Nate today. You may have heard about the prison riot at his prison last week. There were 46 injured with 16 taken to the hospital. We have heard that 3 are still in ICU and 1 might not make it. We found out in a round-about way that Nate was not on the injured list, but that's all we could find out. We got used to working on a "no news is good news" basis while he was deployed, so that has been our general attitude this week. 

Today we found out that he was not only not involved, he was completely unaware of the riot when it happened - a real answer to prayer! His biggest concern is that he was scheduled to take midterms that day, but since all the inmates are locked down, the proctor has had to work in the kitchen helping with meal preparation. He's not sure what's going to happen with his college classes. At this point I am hoping that I will still be able to have my visit with him in November, but I have not confirmed that with the prison yet.

Thank you to those who have been praying for us.  It was wonderful to hear from him today!

Charilyn 

1 October 2011

I guess it's about time for me to update Nate's blog again. You are all very patient with me. It seems like I haven't stopped to catch my breath since my last update. We were able to visit Nate in July and we were glad to meet Tiffany and Josh in Oklahoma. On this trip we were able to locate the Sgt. Grit store (Mike's paradise) and visit Geronimo's grave at Ft. Sills.

Some of our friends have asked what it's like when we visit Nate (whether we're visiting through plexi-glass, etc.) so I'm including a picture of our July visit. 

There is a large cafeteria-style area with vending machines, which is the only food available during the visits. There are several other visits occurring at the same time. We have been told that there are rarely fights among inmates during visits because the visit area is considered "neutral" territory. Well, that's reassuring! You can see that we attempted to play Yahtzee on this visit, but we gave up because it was too hard to teach Dad how to play. We were more successful with Sorry! later in the visit. We were able to visit on Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning during this trip, and Nathan got to hear first-hand that he's going to be an uncle again in February.

We have found that the hardest parts of the visits are the "unwritten" rules that are randomly enforced. For example, we have scoured the website and read and re-read the posted dress code regulations and still have problems meeting the requirements. The front desk staff will let us in for the visit, and then we will find out that Mike wasn't supposed to have his hat (Josh was wearing his hat in a picture on a previous visit so we thought it was OK) or that I was supposed to wear something to cover a sleeveless blouse. (The posted regulations only state no tank-tops; the outside temperatures were in the 100's most of the summer in Oklahoma). I offered to go out to the car to retrieve a sweater I had meant to wear anyway since the visiting room is freezing cold, only to be told that if I went out the gate I could not come back in that day. Where was THAT posted?! I'm glad they told me before I went out the gate!

Josh is planning to make another visit next weekend, but today he lost his wallet and we are not sure if we can get a replacement drivers license for him fast enough. It will be so incredibly disappointing if he can't visit. I am scheduled to visit again the first weekend in November. I was able to use an airline voucher (I only had to pay $31 for the plane ticket) and I will be staying with another Blue Star mom, so my costs will be very minimal. I'm really looking forward to seeing him again soon.

Our biggest source of frustration right now is with the college courses Nate is trying to take. He did receive another A and another B on his summer courses, but he was only approved for 2 of the 4 classes he tried to take this semester because one was full, and he hadn't met the prerequisite requirements for the English course. I was able to add two additional classes for him, but one of them is a Spanish class that requires a DVD, which we're having trouble getting for him. It appears to be normally only available through streaming video, but Nate has no computer access. I tried to order it another way, to have it sent to the education representative at the prison, but although the tracking shows it was delivered to the prison last week, Nate still doesn't have it.  It looks like he may have to drop that class for the semester after all. So all told, I ended up purchasing books for 3 classes for him this semester that he cannot take. (We have to order the books before he finds out if he's approved, or he doesn't get the books in time because the mail delivery at the prison is so slow). He will be able to take the courses eventually, but it was a big expense this semester that could have been avoided if he had access to better counseling. I will be more pro-active with the courses he signs up for next semester. I have also been working with representatives from the college and have now requested duplicate copies be sent to me of everything that Nate receives so that I can help him more. He still has not been able to get his USMC transcripts sent to the college (2 requests), and his educational plan still does not show his math placement score from last spring (on which he did very well, by the way!) Hopefully the English prerequisite class will be available next semester since he cannot take the English placement test, and here's another catch-22: he can't take the placement test because the state will not pay the $10 fee (there was no fee for the math placement), and the college will not allow us to pay it out-of-pocket (not sure of the reason).  Ugh.

I have just placed the order for Nate's next quarterly package, as well as ordering an early Christmas present for him. He is not allowed to have a DVD player, but he was planning to use his cellmate's x-box to watch them so we thought he was OK. Then his cellmate lost the x-box in a poker game. So I ordered Nate his own x-box 360 in order to watch the DVDs for his Spanish course. Of course, now that he has the x-box we don't know if he will get the DVDs. But he now has the video game player, which will give him something else to do, especially important when they have lockdowns, and hopefully we'll eventually get him the DVDs he needs.  Merry Christmas!

PLEASE REMEMBER NOT TO ORDER ANYTHING 

FOR NATHAN WITHOUT CHECKING WITH ME FIRST!!

In other news, I was able to attend and speak at the Blue Star Mothers of America national convention this summer, which was held in Washington, D.C. this year. The theme of the convention was "The War after the War," so Nate's story was particularly  appropriate. Other speakers also addressed the issues of veterans courts, and Cabinet Secretary Eric Shinseki (Veterans Administration) also spoke to give us an update from the the VA. Several of the moms from my home chapter received invitations to the 8th and I "Commandant's Own" drill team/silent drill team performance and USMC "President's Own" band concert. We were also able to tour the home of the Marine Corps Commandant (Gen. James Amos) and attend a garden reception for Guest of Honor Colin Powell. We were privileged to meet both the Commandant and General Powell, as well as several other officers and dignitaries. We were each escorted to prime seats for the concert by USMC officers in their Dress Blues. What a perfect evening! 

During the convention I was also privileged to sit with, pray with, and counsel another mom who had just received news that her son was exhibiting erratic and dangerous behavior due to his Post Traumatic Stress issues. Thankfully, I have since learned that he has sought treatment and is doing better. At the end of the convention I was privileged to be elected as the recording secretary to the national executive board. I will do my best to represent my Blue Star sisters faithfully during the coming year. I am hoping to attend the New York City Veterans Day parade on 11/11/11, which will especially honor Blue Star moms this year. If you are able to watch or record the parade I hope you will.

This month marks the 5-year anniversary of the KIA deaths of Chad Hildebrandt (Nate's roommate at Camp Pendleton), and Scott Bubb (Chad's best friend) from USMC 1st LAR battalion. They were killed in Al Anbar province, Iraq, on October 17, 2006. Let us never forget their sacrifice. 

Thank you, as always for your support.

Charilyn